Friday, February 1, 2008

If you give a goat a manicure...

If you want to give a goat a manicure,
you're going to have to come to terms with how little you know about the 3 bleating animals in your barn.

Then, you'll have to get out all the books you own that mention the care of goats.
You'll probably realize that books just aren't going to cut it, so you'll call up your neighbor and ask their goat-herding daughter to come and show you.

So, she'll come over and you'll have to bundle up because the temperature is well below freezing. But, you'll opt to not wear your thickest gloves because you figure you'll need some dexterity.

Then, you, the goat-herder, and the rest of the family will trek out to the barn.
And when you get there, you'll have to try to convince the goats that you are just "here to help."

Of course, they won't believe you, so you'll have to catch them.
And that means that you'll have to corner them and then hope to be quicker than they are.

When you do catch one, you'll have to figure out why it takes 5 people to hold down a goat that weighs probably 30-35 pounds. Well, 4 people to hold her down and one little girl to watch and dance around.

You'll each take turns trying your hand at trimming the goat's hooves. Then, you'll repeat it all 2 more times with the other 2 goats.
By the time you are done, the goat-herder's mother will have come to pick her up.

Then you'll get to chatting about the cow chores she's just done and about the new neighbors that live 8 miles away. And your fingers will start to thaw out.
When she leaves, you'll get dinner started.

By the time you eat, it will be after 7pm. And you'll think about the fact that you often no longer eat when you are hungry, but when the chores are done. And, for a farmer, that means after sundown.

After dinner, you'll realize that you need to stain-treat your pants because you forgot to change out of your "city" pants and put on your brown insulated bib overalls that you bought at the farm store.

And when you think about that, you'll realize how big of a turn your life has taken, that you even HAVE brown insulated bib overalls.
All this will happen...if you want to give a goat a manicure.

1 comment:

Heather said...

ROTFLOL! I can relate ALL too well!